Saturday, October 24, 2009

Proof of Concept: Hot Cold Lozenges

I've been having a hell of a time coughing out the dregs of the cold that knocked me down three weeks ago, so I've frequently been fantasizing about trips to the local pho houses and Thai kitchens, where the gunk could be rousted by a nice pepper-induced salubrious lubrication of my lungs and sinuses.

And as I cogitated on the prospect, I got a little Ironic Sans: that is, I came up with an idea, possibly a rather good idea, that I have no power to realize:

Imagine lozenges in your favorite spicy sabor, at a nose-runningly intense degree of heat. Mysteriously potent wasabi, sriracha, chipotle, and vindaloo, in an easily portable form. Wouldn't that be healthful when you had a cold? What better way to dislodge a loogie or make your phlegm less phlegmatic?

Dr. Propter's: they get your juices running!

If anyone from Hall's or Vick's or Altoids or whatever is interested in the idea, I'll sell it for a very reasonable sum.

If any of you poetry fans can tell why I've attributed these pills to Dr. Propter, bonus points for you. Ditto if you're a candy aficionado and identify the origin of those shapes and colors.

Now, enough about salubrious lubrication, and back to my usual lubricious lucubration.


Bully said...

I would so buy a vindaloo lozenge. Got to be lightyears better than those zinc things.

Anna C. said...

Seriously. These look perversely delicious.

Anonymous said...

I would love a sriracha lozenge. SRSLY.