Thumbnails for p. 5 (obstructed story), take 2

Here's an almost total reimagining of page 5, which gets rid of John faster, completes the map, and gets our heroes on the road with some awareness of a possible threat:
The constraints:

In panel 2, Stepan casts a quick confusion charm on John to persuade him to "look somewhere else," as Kalbi suggested in panel 1. John's face gets weird (the Bagge) and we see Stepan's hand casting the spell with some bright magical things (the Ditko).

Starting with the second tier, the space between panels starts to get wider, and in those spaces, starting between panels 5 and 6, we start to see glimpses of horned, shadowy beings, identical to Arntham's assailant back on page 2. In panel 8, Arntham refers to his having "glimpsed shapes like his in shadowy realms invisible to normal eyesight, a place sharing the same space as our own, but escaping notice when we fail to look for it." This is Arntham basically referring to the gutter between panels (the Segar).

Text:
1) Caption: This constable is a nuisance!
Kalbi: Maybe you should look somewhere else?
John: You think that's a good idea, eh?
Caption: Time for another spell...

2) Caption: Just a quick confusion charm, with the help of some bright things.
John: Uh...

3) Caption: ...and John is on his way.
John: ...That does sound like a good idea...yes, why not...
Stepan (whisper): Lock the door behind him, Kalbi.

4) Caption: We hustle Arntham's new body inside and put him back together.
Arntham: Thank you both...If John had declared me dead, I'd be banished now as an undead man. ... Which reminds me...

5) Arntham: ...Did you see who attacked me?
Stepan: Someone strange...A horned man with an animal's snout.

6) Arntham: That's worrisome. I need to finish the map, then we all need to leave. Quickly, now...

7) Caption: I grab supplies while Kalbi keeps watch and Arntham does his work. When he's done, I have to ask:
Stepan: Does the horned man have anything to do with the map?
Arntham: Quite likely...

8) Arntham: I've glimpsed shapes like his in shadowy realms invisible to normal eyesight, a place sharing the same space as our own, but escaping notice when we fail to look for it.
Stepan: But how can you see him?

9) Arntham: These eyes of mine are useless, but a magician friend helped me develop other ways of seeing.
Stepan: ...Ipthorin?
Kalbi: All clear outside, Arntham!

10) Caption: At Kalbi's signal, we head for the city gates as dusk descends. A nagging thought occurs...
Stepan: Arntham? What if the shadowfolk are looking back at you?
Arntham: They probably are. All the more reason to find Ipthorin, eh?

Comments welcome...